Wednesday, 23 April 2014

To think, I believed you when you said I was important, that I was someone who meant a lot to you. But I was betrayed again. I'm just someone to talk to when you're bored; always the second choice.

Saturday, 19 April 2014

I made a mistake in telling her my secret. It wasn't something new for me. Friends have betrayed me quite a lot of times and I had learnt that nobody was worth trusting in this cruel, shallow world. But then, she came alone, filling my life with the light that had been extinguished and had caused darkness everywhere, and it felt as if everything would be okay.
Walking towards my bed, I realized some friendships were just too good to be true. I'm not angry neither am I upset over my secret being revealed to the whole school, I'm merely upset because like everyone else, she had betrayed me in the worst way possible. I wonder if I had done anything wrong, anything so out of proportion, that it led to this. Reminiscing the past, I remember nothing but kindness and gratitude for her,because she had helped me survive when no one else had been my support.
2 years ago, she had transferred from the New York city to here, a mere town of Wolverhampton, London. She had been my neighbor and went to the same school as I did. I had no idea I was that bad at the judging of character. Since she was a frequent visitor, we spent loads of time together, doing everything possible together. You name it and I bet you we've done that 3 times already.
That day was a depressing day. I had been bullied mercilessly, just like any other ordinary day. But this time, I had not been smiling about it. I had cried as soon as I got home, but forgot to lock the doors. I had been about to cut my wrists with the blade when I noticed footsteps, and before I could do anything, she entered the room, wide eyed. She sat down with me and I was forced to tell her everything because I trusted her way too much. She had understood and promised to support me and keep it a secret between us two. I had done a mistake, quite a big one, indeed.
It had just been a month after that incident and everything felt fine. But the day I came to school, after my trip to Glasgow, I had felt like crying. Someone cornered me and asked me if my secret was true and that was when I had gone bonkers. I ran as fast as I could towards her and demanded an explanation, but all she did was grin evil-like, and here I'm, slight baffled and filled with rage.
I guess all good things must always come to an end. But I had learned a very important lesson. This world does not deserve my kindness because it is cruel and shallow, and that's how it will be forever.
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Hi. This is just a little something I wrote in my English exam. I kind of liked it, so I decided to post it here. Not much, but hey, I got the highest, and that's why I don't care. 

Bye.

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Exams.

So. Mock examinations are officially over, and I can finally take a deep breath of relief. However, it's not always that easy. Mocks have ended, but CIEs are about to come soon, and that's what pretty much terrifies me the most. It's like..everyone expects so much from you. Everyone expects a good result from you and if it's not up to the mark, you feel like you've disappointed everybody. You've disappointed yourself, your family, your teachers, and your friends. So you continue to work hard, day and night, with the hopes to make them proud of you, proud of your result. And these days I'm terrified about what will happen in the future. What will happen once I get my result? What if it's too bad? What if I fail Physics next year? Questions. Questions. But I try not to think about it too much, and not come under the pressure. It's not easy. It's never easy.

Besides my exams, nothing new has happened. Same old boring life. Recently, I've been caught up with studies a bit too much, so I never get time to do anything else. I miss my freedom, so much. CIE's have ruined that for me. I'm also sad because I ditched my best friend today at 6 am because I was sleepy and I couldn't wake up and we had planned to talk and I just ditched her, like that. But she said she doesn't really mind. I really wanted to talk to her though, she cheers me up like no one else does. So I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, and I hope it goes according to the plan. That's the only thing I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I also have to start studying from tomorrow, and that sucks very very much. Sometimes I feel like crying and screaming and killing someone because of the workload, but I can't. And I hate that. So yeah, whatever.